I am not really sure what happened today. After two years, Pete is occupying a lot of my thoughts today. Maybe it was all the news reports about Iraq and the Marine reservists that we lost this week. Maybe it was just the fact that nothing stays buried for forever. Don't get me wrong...I do not regret my life without him...especially in light of all the things that happened which I will not get into here. I know I don't miss him. Maybe I miss the life I thought I would have with him that I never did. Maybe it was the sudden death of one of my classmates who was one day older than me. Someone I had known since second grade. Maybe I am just having a moment! Maybe I need to quit listening to this dang song!
I finally was able to stop listening to Tim McGraw today (after what...5 months?) and I put in the Keith Urban CD. Maybe that was the mistake. The song Tonight I Want To Cry was where I lost it today. Thank goodness I am working from home.
All I know is that I would/will NEVER sacrifice my happiness to have the things I want in life. Settling for someone who doesn't love me like I love them or who disrespects me is NOT a part of my plan. Yeah, it gets lonely out here waiting. Who knows? I may be waiting for the rest of my life. It just sucks right now. :( I am thankful that I do not get these moods very often. I think this is the first time in over a year or so...maybe more! This funk will be over before I turn in for the night...that I know.
Nothing in my life has really changed...I still want my partner in life, my family...I really don't think that is a lot to ask for. I do know since I have been out here this long I am not going to change what I want. I know no one is perfect and I really am not but I will not accept things I do not agree with just to say I have someone in my life.
Oh well, let me just back to my seat in life's waiting room before someone takes it!
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